


Deputy Headmistresses Anonymous

by regalgeek



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, RWBY, The Worst Witch (TV 2017), The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: Follows the canon timelines for all three series, Gen, Kinda Cracky, None of them have any clue what they're in for, So is Glynda, So is Hecate, They all just care and want their students to be safe and successful and not breaking rules, They're all very done, This was meant to be a oneshot but its not, alcohol mention, kinda serious, minerva is so done, starts right before the first year of the main protags of each, thats not what happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-16 14:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18096245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regalgeek/pseuds/regalgeek
Summary: Hecate Hardbroom, Minerva Mcgonagall, and Glynda Goodwitch had a friendship based on their similar personalities, and circumstances. Namely, how utterly maddening it was to be the the deputy headmistress of a school with trouble making students, magical powers, a school head more than willing to bend the rules, and a rather unfortunate amount of outsider interference.Or, once a month the three of them get together to rant about whatever is happening in their canon storyline, in an impromptu support group for overworked deputy headmistresses.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This general idea has been floating around my head for awhile and I finally decided to actually write it. I'm not quite happy with my characterizations, but its been a very long time since I actually wrote any fanfics, so I'm going to blame my difficulties on that. Either way, I hope you enjoy this work of. Something.

The three women who would go on to have monthly meetings jokingly referred to as “Deputy Headmistresses Anonymous” by those aware of them (much to the outward consternation of the trio, though all three of them secretly held varying levels of fondness for the nickname) had met a bit more than a decade ago, at an inter-school meeting, and had found it easy to connect with one another. Besides the three of them being deputy headmistresses, as the unofficial name of the group implied, the three of them were known for being strict, with a love of rules and order, simply because they believed this was the best way to get results. Their general personalities being rather similar also led to it being rather easy for them to get along. 

The factor which led to their monthly meetings was not how easy it was for the three of them to be friends with each other. No, it was the heads of their respective schools, and the absolutely maddening decisions they made which led to Glynda Goodwitch, Hecate Hardbroom, and Minerva Mcgonagall getting together to rant on a semi-regular basis. 

It was the last week of August, and the anticipation over certain decisions regarding admissions into the school had led to a fuming Hecate. “Honestly, a girl from a non-witching family! A girl who failed the entrance examination with the lowest score I have ever seen, and who sabotaged another student, however accidentally it may have been!” She fumed, pacing back and forth as the other two watched her, with a mixture of amusement and commiseration. 

“If the girl only just learned about magic, you can hardly expect her to do well on a test about it” Minerva said, backed by the knowledge of introducing dozens of muggle-borns into the wizarding world. “She’ll adjust.”

“Obviously, she’ll adjust” Hecate snapped back, “I’ll make sure of it. But, unlike Hogwarts, we at Cackles expect a certain level of magical competency in those we admit. Hence the entrance exam. No matter how quickly she adjusts, a girl who failed the exam, and who has already proven herself to be a walking disaster, is going to be drastically behind her peers, a disruption in class, and hopelessly lost.” 

“Why was she let in, if she did so disastrously on her exams” Glynda asked, thinking about professor Ozpin’s recent decision to bend the rules and let a student in, despite being younger than the typical age of admission, and the circumstances behind such an allowance being made.

Hecate finally stopped pacing, and looked at the other two women, letting some of her weariness show as she did so. “The girl saved the school from an attempt to usurp Ada’s leadership. Of course, she made the situation worse before she did so, but. Ada insisted on giving her a chance.” 

“The circumstances which would lead to a girl with no knowledge of magic stopping such a plot, instead of you or some other member of the staff are doubtlessly...Unique” Minerva commented, not seeing a situation in which it would be acceptable for a student to do something undoubtedly dangerous when the staff was there and almost certainly more capable. Of course, she hadn’t been forced to deal with Harry Potter as a student, yet, so such an attitude could be excused. 

And so Hecate explained exactly what happened on Selection day, sitting down halfway through her explanation, and somehow having a drink in her hand before the end of it. Once she had concluded, she remarked “of course, its almost impossible that she’ll last more than a month, so I shouldn’t have to deal with her for too awfully long.” 

“It seems our schools are both making exceptions for combat ability this year, Hecate” Glynda remarked, still annoyed with Professor Ozpin’s decision. Of course, said decision was based on factors beyond just the fight with Cinder Fall, but she couldn’t exactly bring those up, could she? Not when they were as. Secret. As they were.

“Oh? What did Ozpin do now” Minerva asked, happy to listen to the struggles of the other two deputy headmistresses, instead of thinking about the fact that Dumbledore had had the Philosopher’s stone moved to a corridor in the school itself and they were relying on the students actually following the rules to keep them away from danger. Yes, much better to focus on problems that weren’t obviously life threatening.

Glynda sighed, her hand twitching slightly, and the grasp around her signature riding crop tightening. Why she was holding said riding crop while they were supposed to be relaxing, and when there was no need to be using her semblance whatsoever, neither Hecate nor Minerva knew, however the both of them had their quirks as well, so they said nothing, instead simply giving each other a knowing look.

“There was an attack on a dust shop. Thieves” Glynda said, with notable distaste evident in her cold tone. She didn’t think highly of those who stole from others, certainly. “A girl confronted them, made a large mess of the area, and found herself in a fight she couldn’t win, being a huntress-in-training too young to be attending a school such as Beacon.” There was a pause, and Glynda’s frustration was palpable as she continued. “I ended up in the battle as well, and our foe was...Formidable. She managed to get away, at any rate.”

Which would explain why she was so irked by the situation. Oh, they all knew she’d be somewhat upset with the entire ordeal either way, but the fact that her foe managed to escape was probably grating on the woman even now. “So Ozpin let the girl in, despite being too young, then” Hecate asked, taking another sip of her drink. She wasn’t usually one to indulge in any sort of alcohol, but, after the week she’d had, she was making an exception. Especially when Minerva had such excellent taste in scotch. 

“Yes” Glynda said, rolling her eyes. “While it is, indeed, his decision, and I, of course, trust it wholeheartedly, that makes it no less irksome.” A stance all three women in the room shared in regards to the heads of their schools. Oh, they certainly trusted them to make the right decisions, but that didn’t do much to lessen the decision to throttle them, at times. 

“Hmm. At least this girl seems to be competent” Hecate mused, thinking of the troubles she was certainly going to be having with one Mildred Hubble for the short weeks until the girl was inevitably expelled. She was not, at any level, looking forward to the experience. 

It was around this time that Minerva’s lack of comments and commiseration became especially notable. Usually around this time of year, she’d be talking about returning students, and incoming first years she was apprehensive about. Naturally, it was impossible that there was nothing for her to worry about, which meant that the inverse was happening. She didn’t want to share because whatever the problem was, it was too large. Which meant that she simply had to share it.

“Well, Minerva” Hecate asked drily, “what problems are there on your end?” She was very rarely relaxed even slightly, however the Scottish witch’s scotch, combined with the friendly company, led to a more comfortable Hecate Hardbroom. It helped that the three of them were able to understand the circumstances of each other better than most. 

“I’m not sure which is worse. The fact that Albus is keeping a three-headed dog inside the school, or the fact that he seems to think labelling the corridor in question ‘forbidden’ with no explanation will do anything but make the students more determined to explore for themselves.”   
Whatever Hecate had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “Has he forgotten just how foolish children are in the three months since the end of term?” 

“It sounds” Glynda began, her mouth thinning in anger, “like he is arranging some sort of test.”

Hecate arched an eyebrow at that theory. No headmaster would possibly do that s”ort of thing, right? To willingly endanger the students in such a way would be going against the entire point of running a school. Still, based on Minerva’s look, the theory might have actual merit to it.

Minerva took a large drink out of her own glass, trying to hide the anger that was quickly developing, and failing to do so. “It makes more sense than it should” she finally admitted, looking pained to be admitting even that much.

Despite her doubts in such a theory, her cohorts seemed to be seriously considering it. “Why devise such a dangerous test when there are plenty of...Safe….Sensible...Exams already administered by the staff he himself approves of?” She asked, thankful that, with Ada at the very least, she’d never consider even the possibility of her students being tested in such a way.

It was Glynda who answered, her tones clipped. “Because, Hecate, he wants to test their reaction to the danger. Their reflexes. Possibly their loyalties or character.” The way she says it makes Hecate almost certain such a test had been administered at Beacon in Glynda’s time as deputy headmistress.

“I’d say Albus wouldn’t do such a thing, but...Given the rest of the circumstances….” Minerva said, thinking deeply. Harry Potter was starting at Hogwarts, the same year that Nicolas Flamel happened to want Dumbledore to watch the philosopher’s stone for him. That alone was too much of a ‘coincidence’ for Minerva to believe it was a coincidence at all. And then there was the choice of the various protections for the stone. The possibility of it being a test was growing more and more likely.

“What are you going to do” asked Hecate, after giving Minerva a moment to think.

Sounding more than a little tired, Minerva replied “what I always do. Trust that Albus knows what he’s doing, and keep a close eye on things.” And confront him once she had more than just speculation and theories, of course, but, as impatient as she was, she would be waiting. It wouldn’t do to accuse the headmaster of a scheme he wasn’t planning, when he had so many he actually was. 

It was about then that Hecate got a notification on her Maglet. “It seems we have already been here two hours. Which makes it high time for me to return to the school.” 

“That does seem sensible” Glynda agreed, standing up and pushing in her chair. It was the proper thing to do, after all. 

Thus, the three of them parted ways, their next meeting scheduled for two weeks into the term. Hopefully nothing too worrisome would have happened by then.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hecate is at her wits end with Mildred Hubble, Glynda is tired of Ozpin making exceptions, and Minerva is absolutely done with her colleagues. Sadly, they are only two weeks into term.

It was, indeed, two weeks into term when the three deputy headmistresses next arrived at their assigned meeting spot. Being the punctual and orderly people that they were, all three of them arrived exactly five minutes early, sitting down in the same spots that they always did. Usually, Minerva, while still clearly stressed from trying to be the transfiguration professor, head of gryffindor house, and deputy headmistress, was lacking in rage when compared to Glynda and Hecate. That was not the case on this occasion, however.

Indeed, all three of them were so enraged that there was little to no point at all to trying to figure out who was the angriest. Or, at the very least, the most visibly angry. Between Minerva’s nostrils flaring every time she breathed, Glynda holding on to her riding crop so tightly it looked like it might break, and Hecate’s crossed arms and confrontational stance, all that one really needed to know was that all three of them were very, very, angry. 

Being that she was usually the only person in the room without their temper acutely visible at the beginning of the meeting (sometimes Minerva wondered if Glynda ever stopped being in a rage about something or other, and Hecate wasn’t much better), it was Minerva who started them off. “I” she began, her Scottish accent more noticeable than usually, growing slightly heavier in her rage, “am at my wits end thanks to the arrival of the first years, despite it being only the second week of classes.”

Hecate raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at Minerva. “Usually you’re the one telling us to stop judging first years so harshly in their first month of classes” she noted, looking over at Glynda, who nodded once, but said nothing.

“I didn’t say it was the first years who were the cause of my annoyance, did I?” Minerva replied primly, perching herself on a chair in a way that seemed distinctly feline, despite the fact that she was still in her human form. “It is my colleagues.” Well, Hecate supposed that made more sense. It was an understandable sentiment, at the very least. 

“What happened, Minerva” Glynda asked, her stance still rigid, though she had relaxed herself slightly, her grip on her riding crop was no looser than it had been when she first sat down.

“I might be the only teacher actually acting sensibly around Harry Potter” she said with a sniff, as if she didn’t quite believe it herself, before amending her statement “or, at the very least, in the minority.” 

“Harry Potter” Hecate said, trying to place the name…”The boy celebrity” she asked as she stirred her tea. “Who survived the dark wizard attack?”

Minerva nodded. “It was...A bigger event than merely his survival, though we are, of course, thankful for it, but there’s no need to delve into the particular era this took place in” she said firmly, making it clear that the topic was off the table. Fair enough, Hecate supposed. 

“So, the other professors at your school were...Interested in the boy’s celebrity?” Glynda asked as she straightened the books on one of the shelves in the room with her telekinesis and riding crop, clearly for the sole purpose of having something to do.

“Some of them” Minerva pursed her lips, making it clear what she thought of the idea of being interested in a student due to their fame. “I know Pomona was interested in him due to his parents, and I admit to harboring...Curiosity...As well, but, simply because I want to learn about him, and have high hopes for him, it doesn’t mean he should be treated any differently than any other student.” There was a pause. “Though I did bend the rules for him, a bit” she admitted.

Minerva wasn’t sure how Hecate managed to raise an eyebrow any higher, but she somehow managed to do so. “I wasn’t aware that bending the rules” she said the words as if they were, by their very nature, foul, “was something that you did on a regular basis, Minerva.”

“It isn’t” she agreed, not liking the insinuation Hecate was making, but understanding why she’d be making it, without the additional information. “But I would have done the same for any first year gryffindor who displayed the skill on a broom that he did, during his first flying lesson.” Seeing the lack of understanding on Hecate’s face, she elaborated further. “He managed to catch a falling object in a 50 foot dive, his first time on a broom. Seeing as the Gryffindor quidditch team was in dire need of a seeker, I made an exception for him.” 

“A teacher allowed a student new to flying to attempt such a dangerous dive” Glynda asked, her glasses glinting slightly in the candlelight. “How irresponsible.”

“Not so much allowed as left unattended” Minerva admitted. “She was escorting an injured student to the hospital wing.”

“So, the boy was breaking the rules then, and flying without a teacher to watch? I hope it doesn’t seem as if you were rewarding him for breaking the rules.”

“I managed the situation adequately, Hecate” Minerva said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She knew that Hecate didn’t mean to offend her (currently, at least) but the other witch really did need to learn something resembling tact. 

“I must say, I wish your new...Quidditch Player...Had left some skill for one of my first years. Mildred Hubble is a complete and total disaster on her broom, and if I had had it my way, would have failed her probation” Hecate seethed, clearly itching to vent about this, particular, student. 

“Mildred Hubble...I take it she’s the girl you were concerned about at our last meeting” Glynda asked, glancing towards Hecate as she did so.

“Correct. And my concern was more than warranted, based on her disastrous display in my potions class, her abysmal efforts in flying, and then sneaking out of her rooms in the middle of the night, dragging a friend along with her, to cast a spell to prove that she hadn’t done a misdeed she was accused of. “

“That is why entrance exams are typically administered. To weed out the ones who aren’t ready” Glynda said, frowning slightly, clearly remembering how the entrance exam she had recently helped administer went. “Of course, the systems aren’t always perfect.” 

Retrieving a tin of ginger newts from the bag she had brought along with her, Minerva offered one to both Hecate and Glynda. Neither of them accepted the offered biscuit, not that Minerva had expected either of them to. “Oh? What went wrong with your entrance exam, Glynda?”

“Besides the giant nevermore, which some of our new students faced...adequately” by the look on Glynda’s face, one could tell that she had about 30 tactics they could have used instead, to greater effect, and that she would be teaching them at the first opportunity. “One of our new students has skills completely incompatible with the credentials sent in. I’ve done some research, and it isn’t panning out properly. Ozpin, of course, is ignoring the blatant attempts at deceit and has allowed the boy entrance. Made him a Team Leader even.”

“Well, if he managed to pass the entrance exam, he has to have some talent” Minerva offered, clearly trying to find ‘the bright side’ of the situation. Hecate rolled her eyes. Optimists! 

“Jaune Arc did not pass the exam, his partner pulled enough weight for the both of them while he stood around trying not to look like an idiot” Glynda snapped, having clearly heard enough defenses of Jaune Arc in the past few days. 

This time, Minerva really did roll her eyes. “I swear, the two of you sound almost as bad as Severus does, talking about Harry Potter” she said, before biting into a biscuit. 

“Severus...Ah, your school’s potions master” Hecate asked, to which Minerva nodded, still chewing on her biscuit. “Well, seeing as you’ve already given me one account of rule-breaking, and it wasn’t even in an area as delicate as a potions lab, I can see where there may be cause for concern.”

Swallowing her biscuit, Minerva shook her head. “If it was the rule-breaking, I wouldn’t have a problem. It’s the carrying of a grudge against the boy simply because of a school rivalry with his father, and spewing insults that aren’t proper for students to be directing at each other, much less a teacher at a student.”

“Insults such as” Glynda asked, her gaze turning towards Minerva with interest. 

“After their first potions class, one of my students came to me complaining about the fact that he, among other, absurdly petty, actions, took points off of Potter, and reprimanded him, because the student next to him made a mistake with his potion.” 

Hecate was visibly confused at that particular decision. “Why?” She finally asked. “If he was distracting his classmate, then yes, punish him, distractions are childish and lead to uncontrolled, dangerous, situations. But otherwise, students should keep their eyes on their own potions.” 

“Which was precisely what Potter was doing. It was simply an opportunity to yell at him.” 

“Well, at least you were able to clear up the situation, thanks to the information you were given, yes?” Glynda asked, seeing Minerva about ready to explode into another rant about her annoyance with her colleagues this term.

“No, I was not. Albus said he would speak to Severus.” At this point, Minerva finally gave in to the growing temptation, and actually rolled her eyes. “In other words, absolutely nothing will be done.”

“That is one bright spot about Ozpin at least” Glynda said, having thought about the similarities between Professor Ozpin and the Hogwarts Headmaster on several occasions. “He only hires competent members of staff.” Terribly annoying, at times, but, at the very least, competent.

“Ada has...Done admirably in that department as well. Annoying as Dimity Drill is, she is a...Talented teacher” Hecate looked slightly pained giving her colleague the compliment, and, as if to balance it out, had to add “of course, skill with children makes sense, when one is basically a child herself.” After a pause, she added. “Miss Bat has had some...Issues, as of late, due to her advancing age, however, other than that…” 

Minerva sighed, obviously exhausted simply by thinking about the terrible state of the Hogwarts staff. “I’ve already told you about Severus, but then there is Professor Binns, our History of Magic professor. He is a ghost, and, to put it bluntly, the few times I or someone else has inspected his classes, we’ve fallen asleep before the class ended.” 

“How do the students learn anything” Glynda asked, looking rather...Skeptical. Hecate seemed to be sharing the same sentiment.

“They don’t,” Minerva said with a sigh. “Then there is Professor Quirrell, our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this year. He stutters horribly, and is afraid of most of what he is teaching. Somehow, he is still better than the professor we had last year.” 

The other two witches were quite familiar with the difficulties in finding a competent defense instructor who lasted more than a single year, having been regaled by Minerva on multiple occasions. 

“At least you don’t have signs of him encouraging bullying” Hecate said, remembering the information that had come out regarding the prior defense teacher. 

“There is that” Minerva grudgingly admitted. “So long as he doesn’t meet Professor Trelawney” she added. Trelawney was yet another subpar teacher who both Glynda and Hecate had heard about on many occasions, being one of Minerva’s favorite topics to rant about. “I’m sure that her predilection for portents of death, devastation, and despair would mix badly with his nervousness.” 

Glynda and Hecate found themselves agreeing.

The conversation turned itself to matters besides their respective schools after that, the three of them having decided that if they continued on their current chain of thought, it would inevitably end in someone’s temper flaring up a bit too much. 

With that settled, the date of their next get-together set, and the area as clean (cleaner really) as it had been before they arrived, the three of them left, at the precise minute they had scheduled to start making their way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All three of them gives the staffs at their respective schools a bit too much credit, tbh, at least with each other (they might be friends, but the topic of "which school is the best" is off the table for a reason) but they can all agree that Hogwarts has the largest number of highly concerning staff members.   
> (And the highest amount of staff members, but lets ignore that factor, shall we?) 
> 
> Well, I hope ya'll enjoyed! Leave a review if you did. Or didn't. I just like reading them.


End file.
